Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Curmudgeonly & Skeptical presents Boned Jello
Curmudgeonly & Skeptical presents Boned Jello: A very attractive woman goes to a plastic surgeon for breast reduction surgery. The doctor gets everything set up and says to her, "First, I have to numb them. Is that okay?" When she gives her permission, he leans in and goes, "Num num num num num..."
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
AMERICAN DIGEST Essays, News, Notes, and Quotes
AMERICAN DIGEST Essays, News, Notes, and Quotes: "When your fellow citizens have lost their confidence in our Constitution, and look for a Caesar, what is to be done?
First, prepare to survive (defense). Do not fear the future, for preparation brings confidence and determination. Be prepared to fight for your family and friends. Pray that when the time comes, you will have the courage and honor. Second, prepare to respond to the opportunity that comes with over-reach. For surely these mediorities will over-reach. The punch-back must be twice as hard (offense). Find your compatriots, make alliances, figure out who will stand together." -- John Fleming in the Comments
First, prepare to survive (defense). Do not fear the future, for preparation brings confidence and determination. Be prepared to fight for your family and friends. Pray that when the time comes, you will have the courage and honor. Second, prepare to respond to the opportunity that comes with over-reach. For surely these mediorities will over-reach. The punch-back must be twice as hard (offense). Find your compatriots, make alliances, figure out who will stand together." -- John Fleming in the Comments
Barnhardt.biz - Commodity Brokerage
Barnhardt.biz - Commodity Brokerage
Meet the Old Testament heroine Judith, and her ASSAULT WEAPON, which believe you me, she knew exactly how to use. She's so awesome she got her very own book of the Bible. Never heard of it? Oh yeah. That's right. The book of Judith is one of the books that Herr Psychopath (Luther) decided to tear out of the Bible. But Judith is all over the place in Christian theology, liturgy and art. She is one of the most popular subjects in Christian art. Everyone who was anyone painted or sculpted Judith back in the day.
The book of Judith is all about how the beautiful and courageous widow Judith had put up with just about enough of the invading Assyrians, and was thoroughly disgusted with the "roll over and take it" attitude of her fellow Israelites.
IS THIS SOUNDING THE LEAST BIT FAMILIAR???
So, she ingratiated herself to the Assyrian general Holofernes, and then one night, when he was passed out drunk, she crept into his tent and sawed his head off. When the Israelite men saw the severed head of Holofernes, they rallied and attacked the then-leaderless Assyrians who promptly dispersed, and thus Israel survived.
Hey, desperate times, desperate measures. If she would have had access to an AR, I am quite certain she would have preferred to have just put a round of .223 into Holofernes' brain stem and called it good. But, there were no ARs in the seventh century before Christ, so a chick's gotta roll up her sleeves and do what a chick's gotta do.
ESPECIALLY WHEN ALL OF THE MEN ARE CURLED UP IN THE FETAL POSITION, PEEING ALL OVER THEMSELVES, AND SOBBING LIKE LITTLE GIRLS.
Cruise over to DRBO.org and read the book of Judith. It's a quick read. Good stuff.
Meet the Old Testament heroine Judith, and her ASSAULT WEAPON, which believe you me, she knew exactly how to use. She's so awesome she got her very own book of the Bible. Never heard of it? Oh yeah. That's right. The book of Judith is one of the books that Herr Psychopath (Luther) decided to tear out of the Bible. But Judith is all over the place in Christian theology, liturgy and art. She is one of the most popular subjects in Christian art. Everyone who was anyone painted or sculpted Judith back in the day.
The book of Judith is all about how the beautiful and courageous widow Judith had put up with just about enough of the invading Assyrians, and was thoroughly disgusted with the "roll over and take it" attitude of her fellow Israelites.
IS THIS SOUNDING THE LEAST BIT FAMILIAR???
So, she ingratiated herself to the Assyrian general Holofernes, and then one night, when he was passed out drunk, she crept into his tent and sawed his head off. When the Israelite men saw the severed head of Holofernes, they rallied and attacked the then-leaderless Assyrians who promptly dispersed, and thus Israel survived.
Hey, desperate times, desperate measures. If she would have had access to an AR, I am quite certain she would have preferred to have just put a round of .223 into Holofernes' brain stem and called it good. But, there were no ARs in the seventh century before Christ, so a chick's gotta roll up her sleeves and do what a chick's gotta do.
ESPECIALLY WHEN ALL OF THE MEN ARE CURLED UP IN THE FETAL POSITION, PEEING ALL OVER THEMSELVES, AND SOBBING LIKE LITTLE GIRLS.
Cruise over to DRBO.org and read the book of Judith. It's a quick read. Good stuff.
AMERICAN DIGEST Essays, News, Notes, and Quotes
AMERICAN DIGEST Essays, News, Notes, and Quotes: As we know,
There are known knowns.
There are things
We know we know.
We also know
There are known unknowns.
That is to say, we know
There are some things
We do not know.
But there are also
Unknown unknowns,
The ones we don’t know
We don’t know.
-- Donald Rumsfeld, 2003
There are known knowns.
There are things
We know we know.
We also know
There are known unknowns.
That is to say, we know
There are some things
We do not know.
But there are also
Unknown unknowns,
The ones we don’t know
We don’t know.
-- Donald Rumsfeld, 2003
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