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Tuesday, August 02, 2011
Monday, August 01, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Friday, July 29, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Curmudgeonly & Skeptical presents Boned Jello
Curmudgeonly & Skeptical presents Boned Jello
HUMOR
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as
a Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
________________________________
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while
we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered. I then said,
'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started...
________________________________
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"
And then the fight started...
________________________________
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting
to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had
something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she
thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall
grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
______________________________
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."
And then the fight started...
________________________________
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to
verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have
to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for
me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at
the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped
your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'
And then the fight started...
________________________________
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you
to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's darn near perfect."
And then the fight started........
________________________________
Zeke
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 7/23/11 11:08 AM
~
My wife asked me why female monthly agitation was called "PMS".
I answered, "...because Mad Cow Disease was taken."
Then the fight started.
HUMOR
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as
a Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
________________________________
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while
we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered. I then said,
'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started...
________________________________
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"
And then the fight started...
________________________________
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting
to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had
something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she
thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall
grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
______________________________
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."
And then the fight started...
________________________________
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to
verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have
to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for
me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at
the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped
your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'
And then the fight started...
________________________________
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you
to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's darn near perfect."
And then the fight started........
________________________________
Zeke
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 7/23/11 11:08 AM
~
My wife asked me why female monthly agitation was called "PMS".
I answered, "...because Mad Cow Disease was taken."
Then the fight started.
Curmudgeonly & Skeptical presents Boned Jello
Curmudgeonly & Skeptical presents Boned Jello: "An old woman is sipping on a glass of wine while sitting on the patio with her husband. She suddenly blurts out—
'I love you so much, I don't know I could ever live without you.'
He husband asks, 'Is that you, or the wine talking?'
She replies, 'It's me. Talking to the wine.'"
HUMOR
'I love you so much, I don't know I could ever live without you.'
He husband asks, 'Is that you, or the wine talking?'
She replies, 'It's me. Talking to the wine.'"
HUMOR
Curmudgeonly & Skeptical presents Boned Jello
Curmudgeonly & Skeptical presents Boned Jello: "'There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone.' - Rod Serling
GrinfilledCelt"
GrinfilledCelt"
Monday, July 11, 2011
Home on the Range
Home on the Range:
"'When we our betters see bearing our woes,
We scarcely think our miseries our foes.
Who alone suffers, suffers most in the mind,
Leaving free things and happy shows behind.
But then the mind much sufferance doth o�erskip
When grief hath mates, and bearing fellowship.�
William Shakespeare."
"'When we our betters see bearing our woes,
We scarcely think our miseries our foes.
Who alone suffers, suffers most in the mind,
Leaving free things and happy shows behind.
But then the mind much sufferance doth o�erskip
When grief hath mates, and bearing fellowship.�
William Shakespeare."
Friday, July 08, 2011
Home on the Range
Home on the Range: "The Quitter (1912)
When you're lost in the Wild, and you're scared as a child,
And Death looks you bang in the eye,
And you're sore as a boil, it's according to Hoyle
To cock your revolver and . . . die.
But the Code of a Man says: 'Fight all you can,'
And self-dissolution is barred.
In hunger and woe, oh, it's easy to blow . . .
It's the hell-served-for-breakfast that's hard.
'You're sick of the game!' Well, now that's a shame.
You're young and you're brave and you're bright.
'You've had a raw deal!' I know--but don't squeal,
Buck up, do your damnedest, and fight.
It's the plugging away that will win you the day,
So don't be a piker, old pard!
Just draw on your grit, it's so easy to quit.
It's the keeping-your chin-up that's hard.
It's easy to cry that you're beaten--and die;
It's easy to crawfish and crawl;
But to fight and to fight when hope's out of sight--
Why that's the best game of them all!
And though you come out of each gruelling bout,
All broken and battered and scarred,
Just have one more try--it's dead easy to die,
It's the keeping-on-living that's hard.
- Robert Service"
When you're lost in the Wild, and you're scared as a child,
And Death looks you bang in the eye,
And you're sore as a boil, it's according to Hoyle
To cock your revolver and . . . die.
But the Code of a Man says: 'Fight all you can,'
And self-dissolution is barred.
In hunger and woe, oh, it's easy to blow . . .
It's the hell-served-for-breakfast that's hard.
'You're sick of the game!' Well, now that's a shame.
You're young and you're brave and you're bright.
'You've had a raw deal!' I know--but don't squeal,
Buck up, do your damnedest, and fight.
It's the plugging away that will win you the day,
So don't be a piker, old pard!
Just draw on your grit, it's so easy to quit.
It's the keeping-your chin-up that's hard.
It's easy to cry that you're beaten--and die;
It's easy to crawfish and crawl;
But to fight and to fight when hope's out of sight--
Why that's the best game of them all!
And though you come out of each gruelling bout,
All broken and battered and scarred,
Just have one more try--it's dead easy to die,
It's the keeping-on-living that's hard.
- Robert Service"
Wednesday, July 06, 2011
Tuesday, July 05, 2011
Sunday, July 03, 2011
Jesse's Caf�Am�ricain: On Liberty
Jesse's Caf�Am�ricain: On Liberty
On Liberty
"We have gathered here to affirm a faith, a faith in a common purpose, a common conviction, a common devotion. Some of us have chosen America as the land of our adoption; the rest have come from those who did the same. For this reason we have some right to consider ourselves a picked group, a group of those who had the courage to break from the past and brave the dangers and the loneliness of a strange land.
What was the object that nerved us, or those who went before us, to this choice? We sought liberty; freedom from oppression, freedom from want, freedom to be ourselves. This we then sought; this we now believe that we are by way of winning.
What do we mean when we say that first of all we seek liberty? I often wonder whether we do not rest our hopes too much upon constitutions, upon laws and upon courts. These are false hopes; believe me, these are false hopes. Liberty lies in the hearts of men and women; when it dies there, no constitution, no law, no court can even do much to help it. While it lies there it needs no constitution, no law, no court to save it.
And what is this liberty which must lie in the hearts of men and women? It is not the ruthless, the unbridled will; it is not freedom to do as one likes. That is the denial of liberty, and leads straight to its overthrow. A society in which men recognize no check upon their freedom soon becomes a society where freedom is the possession of only a savage few; as we have learned to our sorrow.
What then is the spirit of liberty? I cannot define it; I can only tell you my own faith. The spirit of liberty is the spirit which is not too sure that it is right; the spirit of liberty is the spirit which seeks to understand the mind of other men and women; the spirit of liberty is the spirit which weighs their interests alongside its own without bias; the spirit of liberty remembers that not even a sparrow falls to earth unheeded; the spirit of liberty is the spirit of Him who, near two thousand years ago, taught mankind that lesson it has never learned but never quite forgotten; that there may be a kingdom where the least shall be heard and considered side by side with the greatest.
And now in that spirit, that spirit of an America which has never been, and which may never be; nay, which never will be except as the conscience and courage of Americans create it; yet in the spirit of that America which lies hidden in some form in the aspirations of us all; in the spirit of that America for which our young men are at this moment fighting and dying; in that spirit of liberty and of America I ask you to rise and with me pledge our faith in the glorious destiny of our beloved country.”
Judge Learned Hand, 21 May 1944
On Liberty
"We have gathered here to affirm a faith, a faith in a common purpose, a common conviction, a common devotion. Some of us have chosen America as the land of our adoption; the rest have come from those who did the same. For this reason we have some right to consider ourselves a picked group, a group of those who had the courage to break from the past and brave the dangers and the loneliness of a strange land.
What was the object that nerved us, or those who went before us, to this choice? We sought liberty; freedom from oppression, freedom from want, freedom to be ourselves. This we then sought; this we now believe that we are by way of winning.
What do we mean when we say that first of all we seek liberty? I often wonder whether we do not rest our hopes too much upon constitutions, upon laws and upon courts. These are false hopes; believe me, these are false hopes. Liberty lies in the hearts of men and women; when it dies there, no constitution, no law, no court can even do much to help it. While it lies there it needs no constitution, no law, no court to save it.
And what is this liberty which must lie in the hearts of men and women? It is not the ruthless, the unbridled will; it is not freedom to do as one likes. That is the denial of liberty, and leads straight to its overthrow. A society in which men recognize no check upon their freedom soon becomes a society where freedom is the possession of only a savage few; as we have learned to our sorrow.
What then is the spirit of liberty? I cannot define it; I can only tell you my own faith. The spirit of liberty is the spirit which is not too sure that it is right; the spirit of liberty is the spirit which seeks to understand the mind of other men and women; the spirit of liberty is the spirit which weighs their interests alongside its own without bias; the spirit of liberty remembers that not even a sparrow falls to earth unheeded; the spirit of liberty is the spirit of Him who, near two thousand years ago, taught mankind that lesson it has never learned but never quite forgotten; that there may be a kingdom where the least shall be heard and considered side by side with the greatest.
And now in that spirit, that spirit of an America which has never been, and which may never be; nay, which never will be except as the conscience and courage of Americans create it; yet in the spirit of that America which lies hidden in some form in the aspirations of us all; in the spirit of that America for which our young men are at this moment fighting and dying; in that spirit of liberty and of America I ask you to rise and with me pledge our faith in the glorious destiny of our beloved country.”
Judge Learned Hand, 21 May 1944
Saturday, July 02, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
A Reporter at Large: The Lost City of Z : The New Yorker
A Reporter at Large: The Lost City of Z : The New Yorker: "Nec Aspera Terrent"= difficulties be damned
Grouchy Old Cripple
Grouchy Old Cripple: "There once was a pervert named Weiner
Who had a perverted demeanor.
Forced from the Hill
For acting like Bill,
Now Congress is one weiner leaner"
Who had a perverted demeanor.
Forced from the Hill
For acting like Bill,
Now Congress is one weiner leaner"
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Sense of Events: Conan O'Brien Delivers Commencement Address
Sense of Events: Conan O'Brien Delivers Commencement Address: "Conan O'Brien Delivers Commencement Address
By Donald Sensing
Conan O'Brien Delivers Commencement Address:
'Graduates, faculty, parents, relatives, undergraduates, and old people that just come to these things: Good morning and congratulations to the Dartmouth Class of 2011. Today, you have achieved something special, something only 92 percent of Americans your age will ever know: a college diploma. That’s right, with your college diploma you now have a crushing advantage over 8 percent of the workforce. I'm talking about dropout losers like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerberg. Incidentally, speaking of Mr. Zuckerberg, only at Harvard would someone have to invent a massive social network just to talk with someone in the next room.'"
By Donald Sensing
Conan O'Brien Delivers Commencement Address:
'Graduates, faculty, parents, relatives, undergraduates, and old people that just come to these things: Good morning and congratulations to the Dartmouth Class of 2011. Today, you have achieved something special, something only 92 percent of Americans your age will ever know: a college diploma. That’s right, with your college diploma you now have a crushing advantage over 8 percent of the workforce. I'm talking about dropout losers like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerberg. Incidentally, speaking of Mr. Zuckerberg, only at Harvard would someone have to invent a massive social network just to talk with someone in the next room.'"
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
Kansas golfers hit consecutive holes-in-one on same hole in Hesston | Wichita Eagle
Kansas golfers hit consecutive holes-in-one on same hole in Hesston | Wichita EagleKansas golfers hit consecutive holes-in-one on same hole in Hesston
23 Comments
BY BOB LUTZ
The Wichita Eagle
Photos
«
1 of 2
»
Greg Bontrager, left, and Justin Pressnall had back-to-back hole-in-ones at the Hesston Golf Course at hole 17. (June 23, 2011)
Fernando Salazar/The Wichita Eagle | Buy this photo
Greg Bontrager, left, and Justin Pressnall had back-to-back hole-in-ones at the Hesston Golf Course at hole 17. (June 23, 2011)
Greg Bontrager, left, and Justin Pressnall had back-to-back holes-in-one at the Hesston Golf Course at hole 17. (June 23, 2011)
Fernando Salazar/The Wichita Eagle | Buy this photo
Greg Bontrager, left, and Justin Pressnall had back-to-back holes-in-one at the Hesston Golf Course at hole 17. (June 23, 2011)
What are the odds?
What is the chance that a golfer will make a hole in one?
* Tour player making an ace: 3,000 to 1
* Low-handicapper making an ace: 5,000 to 1
* Average player making an ace: 12,000 to 1
* Two players from the same foursome acing the same hole: 17 million to 1
* One player making two holes-in-one in the same round: 67 million to 1
Information taken from the National Hole-in-One Registry
I'm going to give you the details of what happened last Thursday on hole No. 17 at the Hesston Golf Park. You're not going to believe them. You're going to think I'm making them up to get attention. Or that I've gotten into the liquor cabinet.
On the 212-yard par 3 hole, Greg Bontrager and Justin Pressnall, involved in match play against one another, made back-to-back holes-in-one.
Stay with me here.
Pressnall, raised in Moundridge and now living in McPherson, hit first. The wind was blowing gently toward the No. 17 green as he launched a six-iron.
It was a pretty shot, one that was definitely going to land on the green.
But Paul Voran, who was in the foursome, screamed out that it was something more than just a good shot. He said Pressnall's ball went into the cup, although it was difficult for anyone to see exactly what happened.
Clearly, everyone in the group needed a moment to contemplate. And to wonder.
Then Bontrager, a music teacher in Buhler who lives in Newton, stepped to the tee box. He and Pressnall barely knew one another from their participation in the Hesston men's club. They've never been golfing buddies and could never have known they were about to do something so incredible, so amazing, so unbelievable that they would forever be bound together.
Using a 23-degree hybrid, Bontrager hit his tee shot. Remember, now, everyone on the tee box had just gone through the emotions of what at least one of them swore was a hole-in-one by Pressnall, so the energy level was high.
Bontrager's shot, he said, mirrored the shot hit by Pressnall. The golf ball took the same path of flight and landed on the green and looked to roll straight toward the flag stick.
Could it be? Had a couple of small-town Kansas guys — decent golfers but nothing close to scratch — done the impossible? Or at least accomplished something National Hole-In-One Registry determined has at least 17 million to 1 odds?
But that's on a typical par-3, whatever a typical par-3 is. Hesston's No. 17, at 212 yards, isn't typical.
Hesston pro Scott Welsh, who has been at the course for 11 years, estimates there are three or four holes-in-one on No. 17 a year, among the thousands of rounds played.
"It's not a hole that regularly gives up holes-in-one,'' Welsh said. "I don't remember where the pin was that day, but does it really matter?"
No, probably not.
Neither Bontrager nor Pressnall had ever had a hole-in-one.
As they neared the No. 17 green, neither saw his ball on the green. The anticipation was enormous, but had to be contained. The worst thing would have been for Bontrager and Pressnell to get their hopes up, then be disappointed.
"We all jumped out of our carts and went running up there pretty quick when we noticed there were no balls,'' Pressnall said. "Greg's partner (Voran) got to the hole first and looked into the cup and saw both balls sitting in there.''
Another moment was needed.
"We never really believed it until then,'' Bontrager said. "You want it to be, but you're not going to get too excited before you actually see it.''
At that point, both golfers went a little crazy. It was so loud, they said, that golfers on nearby holes stopped to take notice. And the celebrating lasted for a good long time, a combination of euphoria and disbelief.
Mostly disbelief.
"I've always wanted to just witness a hole-in-one,'' Bontrager said. "It was just crazy.''
The two golfers might have stopped their rounds right there. Called it a night and rushed to a nearby watering hole to rehash the story over and over and over.
But there was a match to be decided. Pressnall had a one-hole match-play lead over Bontrager as they stood on the No. 17 tee and Pressnall, for good reason, probably thought he had locked up the match with his shot.
It turned into a push, however, and Bontrager won No. 18 with a par to Pressnall's bogey. It's probably justice that they tied the match.
Thursday night, Bontrager and Pressnall treated the other players in the men's league to a barbecue and drinks. Probably a few drinks, considering the enormity of their accomplishment.
"If something like this happened on the PGA Tour, I'm sure it would make the Top 10 plays,'' Bontrager said.
Instead, it happened in Hesston, Kan. Two shots heard 'round the world.
Or at least 'round Harvey County.
This is no urban legend. Years from now, when this story of back-to-back holes-in-one is being told yet again, non-believers will be shrill in their skepticism.
But this happened. It really happened.
Read more: http://www.kansas.com/2011/06/24/1906241/its-hole-in-one-after-another.html#ixzz1QDTXgxEo
23 Comments
BY BOB LUTZ
The Wichita Eagle
Photos
«
1 of 2
»
Greg Bontrager, left, and Justin Pressnall had back-to-back hole-in-ones at the Hesston Golf Course at hole 17. (June 23, 2011)
Fernando Salazar/The Wichita Eagle | Buy this photo
Greg Bontrager, left, and Justin Pressnall had back-to-back hole-in-ones at the Hesston Golf Course at hole 17. (June 23, 2011)
Greg Bontrager, left, and Justin Pressnall had back-to-back holes-in-one at the Hesston Golf Course at hole 17. (June 23, 2011)
Fernando Salazar/The Wichita Eagle | Buy this photo
Greg Bontrager, left, and Justin Pressnall had back-to-back holes-in-one at the Hesston Golf Course at hole 17. (June 23, 2011)
What are the odds?
What is the chance that a golfer will make a hole in one?
* Tour player making an ace: 3,000 to 1
* Low-handicapper making an ace: 5,000 to 1
* Average player making an ace: 12,000 to 1
* Two players from the same foursome acing the same hole: 17 million to 1
* One player making two holes-in-one in the same round: 67 million to 1
Information taken from the National Hole-in-One Registry
I'm going to give you the details of what happened last Thursday on hole No. 17 at the Hesston Golf Park. You're not going to believe them. You're going to think I'm making them up to get attention. Or that I've gotten into the liquor cabinet.
On the 212-yard par 3 hole, Greg Bontrager and Justin Pressnall, involved in match play against one another, made back-to-back holes-in-one.
Stay with me here.
Pressnall, raised in Moundridge and now living in McPherson, hit first. The wind was blowing gently toward the No. 17 green as he launched a six-iron.
It was a pretty shot, one that was definitely going to land on the green.
But Paul Voran, who was in the foursome, screamed out that it was something more than just a good shot. He said Pressnall's ball went into the cup, although it was difficult for anyone to see exactly what happened.
Clearly, everyone in the group needed a moment to contemplate. And to wonder.
Then Bontrager, a music teacher in Buhler who lives in Newton, stepped to the tee box. He and Pressnall barely knew one another from their participation in the Hesston men's club. They've never been golfing buddies and could never have known they were about to do something so incredible, so amazing, so unbelievable that they would forever be bound together.
Using a 23-degree hybrid, Bontrager hit his tee shot. Remember, now, everyone on the tee box had just gone through the emotions of what at least one of them swore was a hole-in-one by Pressnall, so the energy level was high.
Bontrager's shot, he said, mirrored the shot hit by Pressnall. The golf ball took the same path of flight and landed on the green and looked to roll straight toward the flag stick.
Could it be? Had a couple of small-town Kansas guys — decent golfers but nothing close to scratch — done the impossible? Or at least accomplished something National Hole-In-One Registry determined has at least 17 million to 1 odds?
But that's on a typical par-3, whatever a typical par-3 is. Hesston's No. 17, at 212 yards, isn't typical.
Hesston pro Scott Welsh, who has been at the course for 11 years, estimates there are three or four holes-in-one on No. 17 a year, among the thousands of rounds played.
"It's not a hole that regularly gives up holes-in-one,'' Welsh said. "I don't remember where the pin was that day, but does it really matter?"
No, probably not.
Neither Bontrager nor Pressnall had ever had a hole-in-one.
As they neared the No. 17 green, neither saw his ball on the green. The anticipation was enormous, but had to be contained. The worst thing would have been for Bontrager and Pressnell to get their hopes up, then be disappointed.
"We all jumped out of our carts and went running up there pretty quick when we noticed there were no balls,'' Pressnall said. "Greg's partner (Voran) got to the hole first and looked into the cup and saw both balls sitting in there.''
Another moment was needed.
"We never really believed it until then,'' Bontrager said. "You want it to be, but you're not going to get too excited before you actually see it.''
At that point, both golfers went a little crazy. It was so loud, they said, that golfers on nearby holes stopped to take notice. And the celebrating lasted for a good long time, a combination of euphoria and disbelief.
Mostly disbelief.
"I've always wanted to just witness a hole-in-one,'' Bontrager said. "It was just crazy.''
The two golfers might have stopped their rounds right there. Called it a night and rushed to a nearby watering hole to rehash the story over and over and over.
But there was a match to be decided. Pressnall had a one-hole match-play lead over Bontrager as they stood on the No. 17 tee and Pressnall, for good reason, probably thought he had locked up the match with his shot.
It turned into a push, however, and Bontrager won No. 18 with a par to Pressnall's bogey. It's probably justice that they tied the match.
Thursday night, Bontrager and Pressnall treated the other players in the men's league to a barbecue and drinks. Probably a few drinks, considering the enormity of their accomplishment.
"If something like this happened on the PGA Tour, I'm sure it would make the Top 10 plays,'' Bontrager said.
Instead, it happened in Hesston, Kan. Two shots heard 'round the world.
Or at least 'round Harvey County.
This is no urban legend. Years from now, when this story of back-to-back holes-in-one is being told yet again, non-believers will be shrill in their skepticism.
But this happened. It really happened.
Read more: http://www.kansas.com/2011/06/24/1906241/its-hole-in-one-after-another.html#ixzz1QDTXgxEo
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
All You Have to do is Ask Altucher Confidential
All You Have to do is Ask Altucher Confidential: "Two close boyhood friends grow up and go their separate ways. One becomes a humble monk, the other a rich and powerful minister to the king.
Years later they meet. As they catch up, the minister (in his fine robes) takes pity on the thin, shabby monk. Seeking to help, he says:
“You know, if you could learn to cater to the king you wouldn’t have to live on rice and beans.”
To which the monk replies:
“If you could learn to live on rice and beans you wouldn’t have to cater to the king.”"
Years later they meet. As they catch up, the minister (in his fine robes) takes pity on the thin, shabby monk. Seeking to help, he says:
“You know, if you could learn to cater to the king you wouldn’t have to live on rice and beans.”
To which the monk replies:
“If you could learn to live on rice and beans you wouldn’t have to cater to the king.”"
Friday, June 17, 2011
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Sunday, June 05, 2011
That Stupid Palin, Getting Her History Right | The American Catholic
That Stupid Palin, Getting Her History Right | The American Catholic: "Here’s a letter written by Paul Revere himself:
“I observed a Wood at a Small distance, & made for that. When I got there, out Started Six officers, on Horse back,and orderd me to dismount;-one of them, who appeared to have the command, examined me, where I came from,& what my Name Was? I told him. it was Revere, he asked if it was Paul? I told him yes He asked me if I was an express? I answered in the afirmative. He demanded what time I left Boston? I told him; and aded, that their troops had catched aground in passing the River, and that There would be five hundred Americans there in a short time, for I had alarmed the Country all the way up. He imediately rode towards those who stoppd us, when all five of them came down upon a full gallop; one of them, whom I afterwards found to be Major Mitchel, of the 5th Regiment, Clapped his pistol to my head, called me by name, & told me he was going to ask me some questions, & if I did not give him true answers, he would blow my brains out. He then asked me similar questions to those above. He then orderd me to mount my Horse, after searching me for arms.”"
“I observed a Wood at a Small distance, & made for that. When I got there, out Started Six officers, on Horse back,and orderd me to dismount;-one of them, who appeared to have the command, examined me, where I came from,& what my Name Was? I told him. it was Revere, he asked if it was Paul? I told him yes He asked me if I was an express? I answered in the afirmative. He demanded what time I left Boston? I told him; and aded, that their troops had catched aground in passing the River, and that There would be five hundred Americans there in a short time, for I had alarmed the Country all the way up. He imediately rode towards those who stoppd us, when all five of them came down upon a full gallop; one of them, whom I afterwards found to be Major Mitchel, of the 5th Regiment, Clapped his pistol to my head, called me by name, & told me he was going to ask me some questions, & if I did not give him true answers, he would blow my brains out. He then asked me similar questions to those above. He then orderd me to mount my Horse, after searching me for arms.”"
Saturday, June 04, 2011
Thursday, June 02, 2011
Wednesday, June 01, 2011
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
todaze Lympian dots the I – Knowledge Is Power
todaze Lympian dots the I – Knowledge Is Power: "I am very proud of the dignity our current president has shown concerning the death of Osama bin Laden. He could have celebrated by putting on a flight suit, getting in a Navy jet and having the TV camera film him landing on an aircraft carrier then standing in front of a banner saying something like, “Mission Accomplished.”
But he did not do that.
This president doesn’t need images to tell of his leadership. His leadership is on full display with the progress being made in ending our wars, rebuilding our broken economy, health insurance overhaul, and mending international relationships damaged over the last decade.
I am proud to have a president that fed the hungry every holiday, with his family at his side, sharing the chore. I admire him going to Ground Zero to lay a wreath without comment, fanfare, or political benefits.
I am proud of this leadership that took on the health needs of uninsured American citizens, over the needs of capital, interested in profit.
It is gratifying to see a more humble president, less hubris in foreign policy, more compassion for the less fortunate, and a country doing the right thing."
But he did not do that.
This president doesn’t need images to tell of his leadership. His leadership is on full display with the progress being made in ending our wars, rebuilding our broken economy, health insurance overhaul, and mending international relationships damaged over the last decade.
I am proud to have a president that fed the hungry every holiday, with his family at his side, sharing the chore. I admire him going to Ground Zero to lay a wreath without comment, fanfare, or political benefits.
I am proud of this leadership that took on the health needs of uninsured American citizens, over the needs of capital, interested in profit.
It is gratifying to see a more humble president, less hubris in foreign policy, more compassion for the less fortunate, and a country doing the right thing."
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Saturday, May 07, 2011
Thursday, May 05, 2011
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Curmudgeonly & Skeptical presents Boned Jello
Curmudgeonly & Skeptical presents Boned Jello: "TAXI DRIVER
Bob had just arrived in Chicago on a two day business trip. Not familiar with the city, he chose a cab outside his hotel to take him to his business meeting.
Sensing a sucker, the taxi driver took him on an expensive, several mile trip to get a few blocks away, which he only discovered after he reached his destination and was told that he had been ripped off.
He was angry enough to walk back to his hotel. But that night, he plotted his revenge.
The next day, he saw the same driver in the third cab in the line of cabs outside the hotel.
Taxi Rider
So he instead went to the first cab.
'Where d'ya wanna go, Mac?', asked the driver.
'I don't have any money, but you can (perform a sex act on me), if you take me there for free.'
'Get the HELL out of my cab, you (expletive) (expletive) (expletive)!,' yelled the driver.
Then Bob went to the second cab and said the same thing, to the same response.
Then Bob went to the third cab, with the dishonest driver, and asked to be taken to the same destination he had been taken the previous day, knowing full well that he would be ripped off again.
Bob then enjoyed the expressions on the faces of the other two taxi drivers as they drove away."
Bob had just arrived in Chicago on a two day business trip. Not familiar with the city, he chose a cab outside his hotel to take him to his business meeting.
Sensing a sucker, the taxi driver took him on an expensive, several mile trip to get a few blocks away, which he only discovered after he reached his destination and was told that he had been ripped off.
He was angry enough to walk back to his hotel. But that night, he plotted his revenge.
The next day, he saw the same driver in the third cab in the line of cabs outside the hotel.
Taxi Rider
So he instead went to the first cab.
'Where d'ya wanna go, Mac?', asked the driver.
'I don't have any money, but you can (perform a sex act on me), if you take me there for free.'
'Get the HELL out of my cab, you (expletive) (expletive) (expletive)!,' yelled the driver.
Then Bob went to the second cab and said the same thing, to the same response.
Then Bob went to the third cab, with the dishonest driver, and asked to be taken to the same destination he had been taken the previous day, knowing full well that he would be ripped off again.
Bob then enjoyed the expressions on the faces of the other two taxi drivers as they drove away."
Home on the Range: Big Damn Heroes
Home on the Range: Big Damn Heroes
There was not an authentic Knights Code of Chivalry as a prescribed document - it was a moral system which went beyond rules of combat and introduced the concept of Chivalrous conduct - qualities such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women. Documented in 'The Song of Roland' in the Middle Ages Knights period of William the Conqueror who ruled England from 1066, it consisted of these tenents -
To fear God and maintain His Church
To serve the liege lord in valour and faith
To protect the weak and defenceless
To give succour to widows and orphans
To refrain from the wanton giving of offence
To live by honour and for glory
To despise pecuniary reward
To fight for the welfare of all
To obey those placed in authority
To guard the honour of fellow knights
To eschew unfairness, meanness and deceit
To keep faith
At all times to speak the truth
To persevere to the end in any enterprise begun
To respect the honour of women
Never to refuse a challenge from an equal
Never to turn the back upon a foe
There was not an authentic Knights Code of Chivalry as a prescribed document - it was a moral system which went beyond rules of combat and introduced the concept of Chivalrous conduct - qualities such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women. Documented in 'The Song of Roland' in the Middle Ages Knights period of William the Conqueror who ruled England from 1066, it consisted of these tenents -
To fear God and maintain His Church
To serve the liege lord in valour and faith
To protect the weak and defenceless
To give succour to widows and orphans
To refrain from the wanton giving of offence
To live by honour and for glory
To despise pecuniary reward
To fight for the welfare of all
To obey those placed in authority
To guard the honour of fellow knights
To eschew unfairness, meanness and deceit
To keep faith
At all times to speak the truth
To persevere to the end in any enterprise begun
To respect the honour of women
Never to refuse a challenge from an equal
Never to turn the back upon a foe
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Easter Musings From Tickerguy in [Market-Ticker]
Easter Musings From Tickerguy in [Market-Ticker] the future Banksters Politicians and
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Thursday, April 07, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Olfactory Life Hacks: Scents That Increase Brain Power
Olfactory Life Hacks: Scents That Increase Brain Power: "Here’s a breakdown of some of the most popular scents, along with their benefits:
Energizing/Invigorating: Orange, Rosemary, Lemon.
Stress Relief: Jasmine, Lavender, Ylang Ylang, Clary Sage.
Sleep Aids: Lavender, Chamomile, Sandalwood, Vetiver.
Mood Elevators: Mint, Basil Oil, Bergamot."
Energizing/Invigorating: Orange, Rosemary, Lemon.
Stress Relief: Jasmine, Lavender, Ylang Ylang, Clary Sage.
Sleep Aids: Lavender, Chamomile, Sandalwood, Vetiver.
Mood Elevators: Mint, Basil Oil, Bergamot."
New Hacking Tools Pose Bigger Threats to Wi-Fi Users - NYTimes.com
New Hacking Tools Pose Bigger Threats to Wi-Fi Users - NYTimes.com: "Popular V.P.N. providers include VyperVPN, HotSpotVPN and LogMeIn Hamachi. Some are free; others are as much as $18 a month, depending on how much data is encrypted. Free versions tend to encrypt only Web activity and not e-mail exchanges."
A Dash of Insight: Everything You Need to Know about Inflation
A Dash of Insight: Everything You Need to Know about Inflation: "Understanding inflation is now the single biggest challenge for investors. There is a lot at stake."
The woman who peed on her husband. And other stories about stress. Altucher Confidential
The woman who peed on her husband. And other stories about stress. Altucher Confidential
STRESS
STRESS
Here’s what you do when you are experiencing stress. You must follow this advice. Or die:
* Pray. In 2003, if I was nervous about a trade I’d go at about 7 in the morning to the church across the street from where I lived. I’m Jewish and I’ve spent time meditating, but I had never prayed. But in 2003 I prayed. When you pray the key is to lean down, because then your body knows you are being humble. And then be thankful for what you have. Think of all the things you are grateful for. Just do this for five minutes. Its the easiest meditation. Then ask for anything you want.
* Write. This is not joke. if you don’t write every day your idea muscle atrophies very quickly. And it takes months to rebuild. Here is what I do: I go to webrestaurantsupplies.com. I buy 100 waiter paids for $10. 10 cents a pad. I then fill 3 pages of ideas a day. At least. This stretches your mind. Make lists of ideas. Lists of new potential clients. Lists of emails you have to send. List of articles you want to write. Businesses you want to start (with specifics how to start it), lists of reasons etcetc
STRESS
STRESS
Here’s what you do when you are experiencing stress. You must follow this advice. Or die:
* Pray. In 2003, if I was nervous about a trade I’d go at about 7 in the morning to the church across the street from where I lived. I’m Jewish and I’ve spent time meditating, but I had never prayed. But in 2003 I prayed. When you pray the key is to lean down, because then your body knows you are being humble. And then be thankful for what you have. Think of all the things you are grateful for. Just do this for five minutes. Its the easiest meditation. Then ask for anything you want.
* Write. This is not joke. if you don’t write every day your idea muscle atrophies very quickly. And it takes months to rebuild. Here is what I do: I go to webrestaurantsupplies.com. I buy 100 waiter paids for $10. 10 cents a pad. I then fill 3 pages of ideas a day. At least. This stretches your mind. Make lists of ideas. Lists of new potential clients. Lists of emails you have to send. List of articles you want to write. Businesses you want to start (with specifics how to start it), lists of reasons etcetc
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Africa it could Break at any Time
Africa it could Break at any Time: "'Mr. Fennyman, allow me to explain about the theatre business. The natural condition is one of insurmountable obstacles on the road to imminent disaster.'
'So what do we do?'
'Nothing. Strangely enough, it all turns out well.'
'How?'
'I don't know. It's a mystery.'
--- Quote from the Movie 'Shakespeare in Love"
'So what do we do?'
'Nothing. Strangely enough, it all turns out well.'
'How?'
'I don't know. It's a mystery.'
--- Quote from the Movie 'Shakespeare in Love"
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