Thursday, July 28, 2016
Monday, July 25, 2016
Sunday, July 24, 2016
Curmudgeonly & Skeptical presents Boned Jello
Curmudgeonly & Skeptical presents Boned Jello:
Religious Shit
Catholicism:
Shit happens because you're bad.
Protestantism:
Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Taoism:
Shit happens.
Buddhism:
If shit happens, it's not really shit.
Islam:
If shit happens, it's the will of Allah.
Judaism:
Why does this shit always happen to us?
Hinduism:
This shit happened before.
Hare Krishna:
Shit happens rama rama.
T.V. Evangelism:
Send more shit.
Jehova's Witness:
Knock knock, shit happens.
Hedonism:
There's nothing like a good shit happening.
Christian Science:
Shit happens in your mind.
Agnosticism:
Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't.
Rastafarianism:
Let's smoke this shit.
Existentialism:
What is shit anyway?
Stoicism:
This shit doesn't bother me.
No shit.
If there was no God there would be no athiests
Religious Shit
Catholicism:
Shit happens because you're bad.
Protestantism:
Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Taoism:
Shit happens.
Buddhism:
If shit happens, it's not really shit.
Islam:
If shit happens, it's the will of Allah.
Judaism:
Why does this shit always happen to us?
Hinduism:
This shit happened before.
Hare Krishna:
Shit happens rama rama.
T.V. Evangelism:
Send more shit.
Jehova's Witness:
Knock knock, shit happens.
Hedonism:
There's nothing like a good shit happening.
Christian Science:
Shit happens in your mind.
Agnosticism:
Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't.
Rastafarianism:
Let's smoke this shit.
Existentialism:
What is shit anyway?
Stoicism:
This shit doesn't bother me.
No shit.
If there was no God there would be no athiests
(95) Joe Rose Pet story
(95) Joe Rose
Lori Renee Fye
An old cowboy was riding his trusty horse followed by his faithful dog along an unfamiliar road. The cowboy was enjoying the new scenery, when he suddenly remembered dying, and realized the dog beside him had been dead for years, as had his horse. Confused, he wondered what was happening, and where the trail was leading them.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall that looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch topped by a golden letter "H" that glowed in the sunlight. Standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like gold.
He rode toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. Parched and tired out by his journey, he called out:
'Excuse me, where are we?'
'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered.
'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked.
'Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up.'
As the gate began to open, the cowboy asked 'Can I bring my partners, too?'
'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'
The cowboy thought for a moment, then turned back to the road and continued riding, his dog trotting by his side.
After another long ride, at the top of another hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a ranch gate that looked as if it had never been closed. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.
'Excuse me,' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'
'Sure, there's a pump right over there. Help yourself.'
'How about my friends here?' The traveler gestured to the dog and his horse.
'Of course! They look thirsty, too,' said the man.
The trio went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with buckets beside it. The traveler filled a cup and the buckets with wonderfully cool water and took a long drink, as did his horse and dog.
When they were full, he walked back to the man who was still standing by the tree.
'What do you call this place?' the traveler asked.
'This is Heaven,' he answered.
'That's confusing,' the traveler said. 'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.'
'Oh, you mean the place with the glitzy, gold street and fake pearly gates? That's hell.'
'Doesn't it make you angry when they use your name like that?'
'Not at all. Actually, we're happy they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind ...'
(~~author unknown~~)
--------------------------------
Sometimes, we wonder why friends forward things to us without writing a word. Maybe this explains it:
--------------------------------
Sometimes, we wonder why friends forward things to us without writing a word. Maybe this explains it:
When you're busy, but still want to keep in touch, you can forward emails.
When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep in contact, you can forward jokes.
When you have something to say, but don't know exactly how, you can forward stuff.
A 'forward' lets you know you're still remembered, still important, still cared about. So the next time you get a 'forward,' don't think of it as just another joke. Realize you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end just wanted to send you a smile.
P.S. - You're welcome at my watering hole anytime. Life is short ... forgive quickly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably ... and never regret anything that made you smile.
On Tattoos, Facial Piercings, and Helmets @ AMERICAN DIGEST
On Tattoos, Facial Piercings, and Helmets @ AMERICAN DIGEST
What do tats and piercings on a woman really mean?
What do tats and piercings on a woman really mean?
Most
of them are functional. The majority would fall under the umbrella of
bi-polar. But bi-polar is different for different individuals, sometimes
very different. Serious symptoms usually become apparent at puberty but
often are masked and difficult to identify.
Typical situation is while everything is going well the individual is
fine but when things aren't going well... watch out. Usually this is
discovered after you marry them and usually it isn't pretty. One major
confounding factor with bi-polar is the mentally ill person thinks that
they are normal and YOU are crazy. Everything that happens including
everything they do is YOUR fault.
If you
suddenly discover that your spouse is crazy there is only one safe
choice to make: Apologize for whatever you did (or they think you did),
promise to buy them something expensive and awesome, kiss ass and play
nice... and rent a storage unit, move your shit out when they are gone
one day and leave. If you fail to take this advise you will most likely
one day be sitting in the back of a police cruiser in cuffs charged with
domestic violence and mot likely you will not even have committed any
violence.
They will harm themselves, tear their
clothes, hit you and deny it, etc. When you get to court your spouse
will appear sympathetic, be crying, will have bruises. or pictures of
bruises, a good story and will cry on the stand. If you dare look up
during this entire case expect the judge, jury, prosecutor and even your
own attorney to be looking at you like you are shit.
You
will go to jail. She will sell or throw away all your stuff. You will
lose your license to drive, your job, your dignity and good name, and
you will get to pay alimony, child support, fees for classes and
shrinks, etc. Good luck. I told you how to avoid it but you didn't
listen.
There is the chance of schadenfreude
however. She will remarry (or more likely shack up so you have to keep
paying alimony). And the guy who sleeps in your bed and plumbs your ex's
depths will be all shitty to you when you try to see your kids. But his
day will come. Sit back, wait, the shit storm will strike again.... Posted by: GoneWithTheWind
(2539 unread) - jdr1228 - Yahoo Mail
(2539 unread) - jdr1228 - Yahoo Mail: TOO GOOD NOT TO SHARE
And Then:
Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing,
chewing tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly
Bubba says, "Think I'm gonna divorce the wife - she
ain't spoke to me in over 2 months."
Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says, "Better think it over...women like that are hard to find."
And Then:
Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing,
chewing tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly
Bubba says, "Think I'm gonna divorce the wife - she
ain't spoke to me in over 2 months."
Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says, "Better think it over...women like that are hard to find."
Friday, July 22, 2016
Thursday, July 21, 2016
Wednesday, July 20, 2016
Tuesday, July 19, 2016
Friday, July 15, 2016
Racism is a Human Right – PA
Racism is a Human Right – PA: during Thomas Paine’s time the European powers (and USA) still had a huge problem with the piracy and white slave-taking of both the Ottomans and the Barbary States (like Tripoli). The Barbary States were able to extract $$ tribute from European countries up until about 1810, in return for safe passage for their ships. It is estimated that Muslim slavers or raiders may have taken up to 1 million Western and Southern Europeans captive over the centuries, mainly selling them in slave markets in Instanbul or Cairo.
The Ottomans themselves were able to mount successful invasions of central Europe even until the late 17th century. They besieged Vienna as late as 1671.
I think that alt-right blogger “Gates of Vienna” talks a lot about this sort of stuff.
The Ottomans themselves were able to mount successful invasions of central Europe even until the late 17th century. They besieged Vienna as late as 1671.
I think that alt-right blogger “Gates of Vienna” talks a lot about this sort of stuff.
AMERICAN DIGEST Essays, News, Notes, and Quotes
AMERICAN DIGEST Essays, News, Notes, and Quotes: black America shouldn't be required to live by the same rules and laws as the rest of us because they, and only they, have had it tough. And if we go for too long without thinking of them, and only of them, they'll throw a bloody tantrum because nothing else and no one else matters but them
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