Curmudgeonly & Skeptical presents Boned Jello: Long, long ago - An old Indiana geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time, became bored and decided to open a medical clinic based upon his vast knowledge of treating animals.
To stop the skeptics he put a sign up outside that said: "Dr.
Geezer’s clinic - Get your treatment for $5.00, if not cured get back $10.00."
Doctor Young, who was new to the community,and was a recent Eastern medical school graduate, was positive that this old geezer
didn't know beans about medicine and thought that this would be a great opportunity to enhance his reputation in the community and to get an easy $10.00 in the meantime. So he went to Dr. Geezer’s clinic.
This is what happened:
Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth, can you please help me?"
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."
Dr. Young: Aaagh! "This is nothing but coal oil!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $5.00."
Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his lost $5.00:
Dr. Young: "Doctor, I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
Dr. Young: "Oh no you don't! I remember your "box 22" that's coal oil!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $5.00."
Dr. Young (After already having lost $10.00) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Dr. Young: "Listen Doctor, my eyesight has suddenly become weak and I can hardly see!"
Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so, here's your $10.00 back."
Dr. Young: "But this is only $5.00!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be another $5.00 please."
The moral of the story: Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can out-smart an old "Indiana/Geezer"
# posted by �Anonymous : 4/11/15, 7:55 PM
best stocking stuffer gifts are unique, small, affordable, useful, and
things they’ll love. But what do you get someone who loves the outdoors?
I’ve done that research for you and found 25 no-fail survival gifts for the outdoorsman or prepper in your life. I’m cool like that.
I particularly chose these gifts with you faithful readers in mind –
AND tried to find some for those friends and family of yours who may not
particularly share your concern for being prepared (although a
particularly cool gift below like the flint/steel may sway them into
being interested).
25 brilliant survival stocking-stuffer ideas you’ll love
1) – Ultrafire® Cree 7W 300LM Mini LED One Mode Flashlight
I think the best stocking stuffer this year for preppers and non-preppers is this little CREE flashlight. WHY? because they’re ONLY A FEW BUCKS and they’re awesome. I like it so well, not only have I bought a ton of these for myself and others, I wrote a review of it.
After several months, I still love these lights. This one is a
no-brainer. Several of my friends and family have bought a dozen of
these at a time so they could have one in each car and give one to each
person on their shopping list.
2) – Coast HP1 Focusing LED Flashlight
These are a step up
fromthe CREE flashlight above. I learned about this little gem from some
of you guys, who apparently love them. The reviews on them support that
too. It’s $10 so even though it’s double the price of the one above, I
think it’s a great choice and still super affordable. It also uses AA,
which I love.
3) – MPOWERD Luci Inflatable Solar Lantern
This is an LED lantern that doesn’t require batteries. You just leave
it out in the light and it recharges. Packs to about the size of a
round CD case and has enough light for the inside of a tent or for
around the camp area. Also great as a backup in case your power goes
out, so you don’t have to drool all over a flashlight hanging from your
mouth while you work on things or read.
MPOWERD sent me one of these a few months to review.
Ialmost declined because it didn’t look like something that a typical
backpacker, camper, or prepper could use but after looking at how
they’ve been used in Africa and other places, I thought I’d give one a
try. I’m glad I did (here’s the review).
These things are definitely one of my favorite things. I pull mine out
any time my neighbors and I are hanging out by the fire on the weekends
and keep it in the top pocket of my personal bug out bag, allowing me to have a lantern that doesn’t need batteries and stay under my 25-pound weight limit.
It’s about 5 inches in diameter and an inch thick when deflated so
make sure it’ll fit in your stocking if you’re gonna go that route. If
not, it’d be pretty easy to inflate and then wrap and have them guessing
as to what’s inside. Do people still do that?
4) – Victorinox Hercules Knife
Every good EDC (Every Day Carry) kit has some sort of knife in it.
This particular one has more than just a knife, and has one of the best
reputations of any product on Earth. It’s one of those gifts that can
easily last a generation.
This particular one is almost half off at the time I posted this article. Whatever you do, just make sure you get one with a locking blade.5) – LifeStraw Personal Water Filter
This is by far the most popular portable water filter on the market. I personally have a few Sawyer Mini Filtration kits for my kit but people seem to really like the LifeStraw because it’s such a simple design.
Either one would be a great choice though.6) – Suunto A-10 Field Compass
Suunto makes great field gear and are especially good with compasses. I use one in my gear. I still have my
Army-issue Lensatic tritium compassbut I switched it out for the Suunto when I redid my entire setup. If
your giftee is a traditionalist, they may really appreciate the lensatic
one but it’s definitely more money than the Suunto – a lot more. It’s
great for campers, hikers, preppers, or just people who sometimes get
turned around when trying to find things in town.
7) -Doan Magnesium Fire Starter Tool
Not only are these a great little interesting gift for people
(especially kids or guys who act like kids), this Doan model works
really well. I carry one in my kit. It’s super affordable and something
most people wouldn’t think to get as a gift.
This is important here – DO NOT GET A GENERIC COPY. Get the original Doan model I linked above.
There are a lot of Chinese frauds out there that just don’t work. They
aren’t really much (if any) cheaper than the real thing anyway. Watch
this video to see
why:youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frDMAOlIGaY
8) – Wilderness Solutions Flint and Steel Kit
If you have a friend who’s into traditional things, getting back to nature, or a real do-it-yourselfer, this gift
isgreat. It’s a traditional flint and steel that have been used for
centuries. It also includes char cloth and some fiber to make it easier
to get things started. This probably isn’t a good gift for a beginning
camper/hiker/survival person but for others, it’s a pretty awesome one.
BTW, I have a post on how you can make your own char cloth in case you’re interested.
9) -P-38 Can Opener & P-51 Can Opener
These things are an absolute perfect stocking stuffer. So cheap that
they’re almost free and they’ll easily last generations. They’re useful
as both a can opener and emergency screwdriver. I keep a P-38 on my
dogtags.
Did you know they’re named the P-38 and P-51 because that’s about how many punctures they make to open a can of C-rations (and because of the fighter planes at the time)?
10) -Encrypted Thumb Drive with info
This one takes a little work on your part. A thumb drive like the one
I linked to above already has encryption on it and is the best choice.
You can also put on your own encryption
on it using Bitlocker. If you’re gonna have personal information on the drive, encrypt it.Once you’ve done that, include a text file with all the pertinent
contact information for your family and close friends, map to how to get
there, and put in some survival and other pdf’s in it in. Don’t listen
to the idiots who say that having electronics is a dumb idea for
survival just because there’s a 0.0000001% chance that an EMP/CME could
wipe out everything and we’d be back in the stone age. You’re more
likely to get hit by a flying cow.
Pole Shift Survival Information is a great place to get thousands of free survival-related documents but if you want it filtered down a bit, check out my What survival/prepper books would you have in your SHTF library? article.
11) – Paracord Bracelet with Fire Starter
Any paracord bracelet out there should work but I like this
particular one because it has a small ferro rod and striker built-into
it. I love double-duty gear.
These are almost always a no-brainer gift, especially for guys.12) – SAS Survival Handbook, Third Edition
I still think this is the best survival book out there. This is the
new 3rd edition. You can get the 2010 edition for a few bucks less but
go with this one.
13) – Ammo
14) – Goal Zero Guide 10 Plus Solar Recharging Kit
This is a pretty awesome setup. You can not only charge USB devices
with it, it can charge AA/AAA batteries. It’s a bit more than the other
things on this list but you don’t have to buy AA/AAA batteries anymore.
Just get a few rechargeables and you’re set. I swapped out all my house
remote controls now with rechargeables and use this so I never have to
run to the store in the middle of an intense Call of Duty session or
have to yell at my TV because I can’t get it to listen to my dead
remote.
15) – Yo Yo Fishing Reels
You may not have heard about these but they’re pretty cool. You set
them up above the water and leave them. Once a fish starts to nibble on
the hook, this thing goes into action and sets the hook for you.
Watch this, it’s pretty cool:16) – pStyle for women – pee standing up
These things are great for girls on hiking trips, biking trips, or so
they don’t have to go too far away from the campgrounds to pee. A lot
of girls in Iraq and Afghanistan used things like this on convoys so
they’d have a bit more privacy and could go quickly. It’s a great gift
for outdoor girls.
17) –
SOG Seal Pup KnifeI have both versions of the SOG Seal knife. I used the larger one
when I was in Africa, Iraq, and Afghanistan. Once I got home, I wanted a
smaller one to cut down on weight and space in my pack but not
sacrifice having a great survival knife. That’s when I got this one –
the SOG Seal Pup. I carry it in my personal bug out bag or on my belt
when I’m camping or in the desert.
18) – Mini Bic Lighters
A cheap lighter is my go-to fire starting tool. These particular ones
are much smaller so they’re not only useful, they can easily fit in
pretty much any pocket or bag.
19) – Fozzils Bowlz PackI really like these. They pack flat so they don’t take up too much
room in a backpack, and weigh almost nothing. They snap together to make
a bowl, plate, or whatever. I personally have the two-bowl set for my
backpack but they have different sets you can get.
20) –
Kupilka CupThese are a favorite of ultralight backpackers and thru-hikers.
They’re a composite of wood and plastic so they’re strong and insulate
well, and they’re designed in a traditional Finnish design.
Minecame with a little spoon with it too, but I’m not sure if they all do.
The link above is the exact link I used to get mine.
21) – Estwing E24A Sportsman’s Hatchet
I debated putting this one on the list due to its size but I think
it’ll actually fit in a lot of stockings so I added it. I came awfully
close to getting the
Estwing E24A Sportsman’s Hatchet for my pack but eventually decided on the Fiskars X7 14-inch hatchetinstead, but it was a very close call. For a gift, I’d go with the
Estwing. Not only is it a fantastic hatchet, it’s looks pretty awesome.
22) – Trumark Slingshot
Who doesn’t love a slingshot? This is the model I got for my survival
kit. Not only is it a good design for shooting rocks (not all are), it
has good reviews and holds its ammo inside the handle. Pretty cool!
23) – McNett Outgo Microfiber Towel
I tried a lot of compact towels for deployments over the years and
they all sucked – until I found one of these at the PX in Baghdad one
day. Luckily, you don’t have to go to a PX to get one. They’re
lightweight, inexpensive,and they actually work.
Don’t bother trying any other brands because they probably won’t work.I now have one of these in my backpack (a medium) and one for travel and my workout bag when I go to the gym.
24) – Emergency Blanket
I know you really want to get them a few of those mylar space blankets
instead, but they suck as emergency blankets. The one above is a real
blanket and can be used in real emergencies. The mylar ones don’t last
long
and aren’t really blankets. They may be ok as a filler gift but not as a real survival item.25) – Solo Stove with Backup Solo Alcohol Burner
This is the setup I use in my pack. It gives you the ability to cook with branches, pine cones,
orwhatever burnable stuff you find – and also use alcohol. It’s a great
system to make sure you can boil water or be able to cook when you’re
camping or have no power for several days. The Trangia alcohol stove
that comes with it also has a lid so you can keep alcohol in it instead
of having to dump it out when you’re done cooking.
Conclusion
Keep in mind that two is one and one is none so don’t worry if they
already have a version of one of these things. They (and you) should
always have a backup.
There should be several of the ideas on this 25 stocking-stuffer
gift list that you’ll love but you don’t have to limit yourself. Just
use this list as a jumping-off point. You can’t go wrong with these
though.
BTW, if you want the Tactical Christmas Stocking that’s in my main image, you can get them here.
For more ideas, check out 999 freakin’ awesome ideas for your bug out bag. ~ Graywolf
If you’re still stuck after all that (which is possible), just get them a gift card for whatever value you want and let them choose. It’s the perfect fail-safe gift:
Reprinted with permission from Graywolf Survival.
For people who have never tried to take into custody someone resisting arrest, to sit back in the safety and comfort of their homes or offices and second-guess people who face the dangers inherent in that process — dangers for both the police and the person under arrest — is yet another example of the irresponsible self-indulgences of our time.
